Gunslinger

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

My partner of five years decided to tell me

that the last five years were a total lie.

Imagine learning someone waited patiently for years

for the best moment to break your heart and trust in others.

A seismic jolt to the core of me

at a time I was happiness on two legs, ecstatic at my first solo show.

Now with the years and intimacies of memories colored and changed by betrayal,

No picture I see can be trusted.

But by deleting these photos on Facebook, I am also deleting the visible signs to me of my own moments and growth.

I decided to take my stand and reclaim the energy around my photographs.

Though he is in them, the ones I like are MINE,

and energy is always returned to me whenever I see it again.

In meditative renaming, I speak to remembering the high level of what I gained, evidenced, and celebrated,

reclaiming it for good, and returning it to me.

I call it my Song of Triumph, and I seek to keep this positive version of events

in my conversations going forward.

During my show’s run, I visited my photos and smiled and sang in the hallways, looked and spoke lovingly to the artwork, talked in words of happiness and joy,

felt good all up and down those hallways.

I took photos of my happiness and gratitude

at what had occurred and manifested visibly so quickly in my life.

I had wanted to have a show downtown (I did) in a beautiful old historical church,

with a show I had wanted to display for many years.

And no matter who tried to hate on it – some closer proximity than others –

it was beautiful and memorable.

I am reminded of the Old West idea of a gunslinger.

The guy has such a vibe that everyone tries him;

everywhere a stranger stepping up to challenge him

with “Who Do You Think You Are?” energy.

In this case, this feeling is also accompanied by

“Knock You Off Your High Horse” to put a plan into action.

My strength and superpower is that ever since I was a young girl

I have possessed a very strong natural psychic presence

and deal with “Who Do You Think You Are?” energy like the air I breathe

throughout school, travelling, and very odd spontaneous encounters with those triggered by my mere presence every day.

Connected to love and witnessed by God every day for the purity of my intentional heart,

My experiences dealing with envious evil eye ego diva drama energy

stems from constant Divine connection

to this assured inner self

who answers “Who Do You Think You Are?” with a quiet glance.

My little ‘sparkler’ awakened by my vulnerable questions

is a firecracker in my daily life,

moving out all the nonsense people

wanting and wasting her Dorothy’s valuable energy.

God bless my intuition through Spirit

and release of attempts to connect into my energy

as oftenandoftenasoftenandoften

and from WHOM as often as needed.

May every memory

entangled in emotional betrayal

be transmuted through Spirit

into forgiveness, healing, and light.

With obsidian in my pockets,

laughter in my eyes, and love in my heart,

I am dancing back into my life

whether you see me or

just hear about me from a distance.

“Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn’t mean you gained me as an enemy. I’m bigger than that, I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table.” ― Tupac

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Dorothy Perry specializes in personal portraits imbued with deep feeling. Contact her here.