A valuable skill in our visually stimulating world
is relaxing your visual focus
(letting the eyes ‘go fuzzy‘)
when waiting or resting.
It rests more than your eye muscles:
it also gives the ever-spinning
wheels of mind a rest,
and lets your intuition come through
to show you something new.
Dorothy Perry is a Chicago portrait photographer.
Benefit: Helps develop a ‘wider gaze.’ Useful as a daily practice. Helps to become more aware of photograph-able things happening in moving or crowded situations.
This is effective when coupled with deep, steady breathing to help stay creatively effective in highly emotional or moving situations.
Step backwards.
Step back, as if moving your body. Make the movements to step back, sensing everything: temperature, your pulse, your breathing, the fabric of your clothes, your muscles in your knees and feet.
Step back again. Keep stepping back until you feel a release of breath, a relaxing. Keep breathing, steadily, deeply.
Watch without naming colors, reading words, or signs.
Open eyes wider, open ears, open nostrils, relax jaw.
hold it briefly, lightly, gently.
Gradually have all senses open at the same time.
hold it briefly, lightly, gently.
Open your pores, feeling in all fingers and toes, all at the same time.
hold it briefly, lightly, gently.
Continue to hold in that middle. surrender. breathe. go deeper with whatever your body feels. hold it briefly, lightly, gently.
Take a deeper breath. Come back to your focus gently.
Please write if this exercise works for you: I would love to hear if this helps you imbue your creativity and photography with deeper emotional content.
Dorothy Perry is a Chicago photographer specializing in modern portraits. Contact her here.
Within the mindset that what we do for others, we are working on in ourselves, I see the actions I am taking to help someone grow
are the things that are my struggle to grow with as well.
My son and I have been a tight pair since he was born. He was not an easy boy to raise
after vaccinations caused developmental regression at an important stage of life.
School, Aspergers, socialization, therapy: we had our roles: I was his cheerleader and advocate, tried to anticipate issues, ease him into trying new things –
and dust myself off when well-meaning experiments sometimes went south (I actually wrote some pretty good poetry about this period of time.)
Over time, I came to realize that some of these well-meaning efforts ‘bubble-wrapped’ him
against the work he needed to do to stand on his own feet…
Steps he needed to take himself.
I realize to be an advocate of his independence in this new stage of life, I needed to step back and let him
make his own decisions,
set new expectations,
disagree with me,
fix his own dinner,
handle his finances,
figure out his own schedules,
make his own mistakes.
Old habits die hard, and being a ‘helicopter mom’ was second nature for twenty years.
It’s still hard sometimes not to take the wheel for him when he is working things out.
But this is the work towards a measure of independence that we both have to do in our own lives.
It has taken longer in time than some young adults need, but that is what it took. It takes different types of strategies and preparations, and some hand-holding,
but that is what it takes as well.
And with extra time, reassurance and ‘figure it out yourself’,
I see that he is more assured, trying his wings, making short flights.
And succeeding.
One thing, though never changes.
I have a little ritual in the mornings, where I watch him walking to work in the crowds, as far as I can see him, until he is out of sight.
And then, saying ‘thank you’ in tears of gratitude
for the marvel of a young man walking down the street to work –
a vision that looks so everyday and ordinary,
but is evidence of beautiful, positive growth that has happened in ours.
Update of sorts: the time at home over Covid and the preparation to return to work caused some anxiety we could not manage or assuage, and in time he left the firm.
I am creating our schedules with more attention
on doing the things he does here at home himself
to take responsibility, care for himself, and figure things out.
All as quietly as he usually does things.
No matter what it looks like from the outside,
I have dreams of this next step and germinating it
until it is strong enough to flower.
Dorothy Perry is a Chicago portrait photographer.
